Dog Spelled Backwards is God

Genre:Humor
Word Count:517
Rating:10+
Muse: John Farley’s love of words(tintinnabulation dare- er, challenge)
Summary:Perfection is over-rated.

Dog Spelled Backwards is God

The house was nice. Okay, the house was great. No, really she had to admit, the house was perfect. Their perfect little dream house in the perfect little town in the country. It was on a quiet little street and the neighbors had already managed to show up with coffee cake and French roast and a really helpful little list of where important places in town were- the general store, the post office, the church and the synagogue, the town hall and the two small schools, the only restaurant that served breakfasts and the one that served lunches and dinners. Then the neighbors politely disappeared just before they all ran out of things to say with the promise of a backyard barbeque that weekend, but no other expectations from them. Apparently the neighbors were really kind of perfect, too.

As they settled into their really perfect life, she started to notice a certain something- a cranky restlessness that got harder and harder to ignore. She was a city girl, her friends had always been drama kings and queens, getting things done had always taken more time and work and money than expected- and, in a strange sort of way, she liked that. As soon as she recognized this, the restlessness increased ten-fold. She missed being aggravated so much it was, well, it was aggravating.

Tommy, her fantastic and ever-loving husband decided to do the next logical thing in building them a perfect life- he got them a dog. At first, the tiny puppy was just a bundle of fluffy cuteness and, amazingly, he trained quickly- no messes in the house, no chewed up furniture, he actually liked the chew toys they bought for him. He was like a pod-puppy, a little robot dog, save for how affectionate he was. He was just so disappointingly perfect, she almost couldn’t stand to look at him. She was starting to lose it big time.

But then, a miracle happened.

The neighbors- the perfect neighbors with the pool they didn’t mind sharing and the ridiculously delicious barbeque marinade recipe- they got a cat. It was a pretty little tabby with shining green eyes and a sweet little meow. The dog took one look at her and commenced barking with all his might. He barked all day. He barked all night. Even though he hadn’t seen the cat for hours, he knew, he just knew that the cat was out there, somewhere, needing barking at, and he was not going to lay down on the job.

Her husband, of course was mortified that his well trained dog was going berserk over the cat. He kept apologizing to the neighbors and trying to calm the dog down and considering soundproofing the house. But she knew the barking for what it really was. She knew that the non-stop noise, the unstoppable din, the interminable tintinnabulation was a reprieve, a blessing and a sign from God Almighty that everything was going to be all right. She rummaged in the medicine cabinet for her earplugs, got herself a beer and sat back to enjoy the perfection.

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Categories: fiction, very short stories | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Dog Spelled Backwards is God

  1. Rob

    Nice use of the word beer. But you know you had me at “dog”.

  2. The title was all for you, baby.

  3. [applause]

    bravo, ms. diaz. i see i’ll need to dig deeper into my bag of tricks in order to outwit you. i will not be outdone! (diabolical laughter).

  4. Thanks John.

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